Can I keep it real with y’all?
It’s taken me a year and a half to get back to this blog. I’ve been struggling to release content because of a secret enemy: the inner saboteur —constantly questioning if I’m good enough, if what I say matters, and wrestling with the purpose of this platform: to show up real, raw, and authentic on my journey to becoming who God called me to be. I’ve let insecurity and doubt get too loud in my mind.
I’ve learned that showing up vulnerably takes courage—courage I don’t always have as I’m still finding my voice. But, when we let negative self-talk take over, we sabotage the power and authority God gave us to be our authentic selves.
When I get caught in overthinking, I hold back my voice, creativity, and message, which leads me to sabotage not just myself, but also the people meant to receive what I have to offer. Authenticity is courageous, and every day I choose to show up as 100% me; I’m willing to take the risk. So, today we’re taking the risk, and we’re going to chat about overcoming the enemy of our own selves. We are daring to break free from out own destructive patterns. Self sabotage will not define our future. We are more than conquerors, friend!
Self-sabotage is actively keeping yourself from personal progress. Five ways I’ve recognized self-sabotage in my journey:
Perfectionism: Trying to perform and become this perfect version of myself that someone else would love, not realizing that I’m trying to heal the wounds of hidden abandonment and rejection.
Imposter Syndrome: Believing that I’m not living up to the person that others think I am or who God calls me to be because I haven’t fully accepted His grace.
Hiding: Hiding as a result of imposter syndrome. Fear causes you to hide the very things God is trying to bring to light in and through you. I resonate deeply with Elijah because his imposter syndrome caused him to run, leading him into a deep cave of depression. I didn’t call it depression, but I’ve been in a few caves, whether personal or generational, and it has sabotaged my joy, community, and many other things.
Repeating Unhealthy Habits: This is a big one, and I’m actively working on it. Have you ever had moments when you’re lying in bed, knowing you’re supposed to do something? You’ve made a list, but you haven’t committed to a single thing? You make unrealistic tasks instead of measurable ones to fulfill your procrastination or because you’re afraid to fail? Well, yes, me too. This is still one I’m working through and learning to overcome.
Self-Preservation/Isolation: Whew, this is a tough one. It shows up for me more internally because I have a bubbly personality, so it’s easy for me to socialize with others while hiding my internal struggles. This may look different for you, but I’ve learned that isolation in any form is a sure sign of self-sabotage.
Self-sabotage doesn’t have to be the narrative we subscribe to because God wants better for us. It’s a real and raw journey, but I’m choosing to believe, and I’m inviting you into this journey of freedom with me. Here are five ways I am healing from the self-inflicted wounds of self-sabotage and the scriptures that have helped me along the way:
Jesus + Therapy: It took some time and is still a work in progress, but getting to the root of those belief systems that choke you out of real love is key. You’ll never heal by trying to become some perfect version of yourself. Therapy has helped me understand the internal conversation and change my beliefs. The Word of God has healed me in ways I never thought possible because of the depth of His love. 2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Acknowledging that it’s NOT Me, but Christ in Me: When you accept His grace, you’re reminded that it’s not you, but Christ in you. Imposter syndrome hates this truth because it affirms that in our weak areas, Christ works through us. When you see me, know it's Him. 2 Corinthians 12:9—yes, we’ll quote it again because it has healed me so many times!
Taking the Risk of Vulnerably Expressing Yourself: When God asks you a question, answer Him with full vulnerability and truth. He will meet you in your cave, but don’t be afraid to answer His whisper when He speaks. God asked Elijah a simple question that struck my core, and He asked him twice: “Where are you, Elijah?” When God asks you where you are, tell Him. You can do this through journaling, therapy, or a safe community. 1 Kings 19:13 - When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Finding a Rhythm of Consistency: Now, this one is a work in progress, hunty! I’ve realized that a lot of my inconsistency comes from chasing an ideal life instead of doing the work. I’ve also learned that a lack of consistency leads to low confidence because you haven’t built the muscle to sustain what you’re trying to accomplish. Your rhythm doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s, but you have to do the work to reap what God has placed in your heart. Proverbs 12:11 - Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.
Realizing That You’re Not Alone: Elijah backed into the cave because of self-preservation. He thought he was the only prophet left, and Jezebel (we’ll insert the internal saboteur here) wanted to kill him. But GOD had other plans. He reminded Elijah that there were 7,000 other prophets He had raised. This comforted me so much because I often drift into a belief system called loneliness, but God ensures I’m not the only one. You don’t have to preserve yourself any longer because God has promised a community that will allow you to be your authentic self. Seek Him, show up as YOU, and they will find you. 1 Kings 19:18 - Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”
Authenticity requires vulnerability. Our culture often sees strength as hiding or masking our journey, but deep down, we’re craving to be known. To be known is to recognize that you deserve to be free. You’re not on this journey alone, and it’s a daily process to overcome the self-inflicted patterns of sabotage. It starts with uprooting your belief systems and allowing God to build you anew.
Romans 12:2 says: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.
So, I’m on this journey with you, sis, to embrace true freedom. Confronting the internal saboteur with the power of God's word. Allowing God to transform us from the inside, out. Let’s keep growing together, friend!
Written with Love,
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